This Monster of Mine is for all the readers who love a morally ambiguous cast of characters that actually tackle the injustices of society. A dark and bloody story (please check all the trigger warnings ahead of time) that tackles the question of what it means for justice to be delivered while adding a little sprinkle of revenge and an enemies to lovers subplot.
pages: 418 | source: own, physical/fairyloot
publication date: April 1st, 2025
tags: fantasy, adult,
rating: 6.1/10
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Sarai is a character with incredible drive and the definition of feminine rage. Four years ago, she was attacked and almost killed for reasons she can't remember and now she's back in the Southern City and assigned to work with one of the ruling Tetrachs (judge) as his Petitor (prosecutor). She's determined to find answers for her case that was dismissed and how it might be linked to all the Petitor deaths that followed. Throughout the story, she constantly proves her strength and resilience to get the bottom of things. Seeing her discover what it truly meant to fight injustice and how the moral "laws" of society will always unfortunately bend to the wills of those in power was a mixture of heart-breaking and encouraging, especially when seeing those parallels in today's society.
Pitched as a romantasy, the story does a solid job balancing out its complex fantasy world while allowing the romance to remain a prevalent component of the story. Tetrach Kadra, stated in the author's note as being inspired by Ben Barnes' Darkling, is quietly manipulative in a way that isn't malicious but allows him to remain a few steps ahead of Sarai. He allows her to come to her own conclusions - even if she sometimes jumps to anger and accusations first. I guess this could fit the hate-to-love trope as there is quite a bit of mental gymnastics on Sarai's part between "I hate him he's evil, I can't like him" and "wow he's actually human and has a heart."
Where this succeeded lay in the author's careful attention to character detail as Kadra's vicious punishments were the result of a corrupt justice system that allowed money to prevail over consequences and Sarai having to lean how to stay true to her moral compass while combatting the corruption around her. The cast of characters each had their own character motivations that supported the plot's political intrigue and the mystery behind all the Petitor deaths. I was genuinely so curious to uncover the answers with Sarai and with each reveal of political corruption, shocked to see how low some people will go.
I definitely feel like the author left so many insightful breadcrumbs scattered throughout that I missed this first time around so I'll have to go back and give this a reread sometime in the future. This does read like a standalone because the author manages to deliver a satisfying conclusion but I found out that there's supposed to be a sequel so that'll definitely be on my radar for next year. I think the world is absolutely fascinating with so much potential to be explored and I can't wait to see what the characters will do next.
