dearrivarie

Ann Liang is synonymous in this household with adorable fluffy rom-coms that leave you smiling like an idiot while simultaneously bringing on the tears for perfectly putting into words the experience of being a child of immigrants. Never Thought I'd End Up Here offers a gentle reconciliation towards the experience of growing up between two different cultures and the journey it takes to discover one's unique cultural identity.

pages: 320 | source: netgalley, colored pages book tours
publication date: June 03, 2025
tags: young adult, contemporary, romance, asian-rep
rating: 7.5/10

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This may be a big moment because I think I found my favorite Ann Liang novel. Something about Never Thought I'd End Up Here just clicked - from the relatable experiences of defining one's identity through the Asian American lens to what has to be one of the sweetest romances I've ever read, I cannot sing enough praises for this book.

As someone who also got the chance to participate in a cultural-immersion camp, seeing Leah discover her Chinese heritage through a new lens and all the challenges she faced throughout resonated so much with me that seeing her overcome them felt like a personal victory. Leah had to essentially learn what it meant to be just her and the process of becoming so vulnerable is a scary one but for the first time in a while she is surrounded by so much love and zero judgement. And despite all the cringey teenage moments of embarrassment, her experiences in Shanghai finally give her the support system she's been missing to truly enjoy her life. Though credit where credit is due, I adore her mother and how she calls Leah Baobei - truly made me tear up every time.

Of course, we cannot talk about an Ann Liang rom-com without addressing the romance because this one was truly top-tier. Cyrus wins the #1 spot because he was truly the softest, most sweetest MMC ever and he deserves the biggest hug. I loved how we got to do a deep dive into two incredibly different Asian American experiences and see the shared fear of failure and disappointment that often underscores many children of immigrants' lives. It truly offers a different perspective and reinforces how you never know what's behind the mask of perfection that everyone projects.

I think this is the first time I've finished a YA novel in a long time where I just want to go back and reread the story because of how genuine it felt. To prevent any further gushing over these characters and because the more I think about it, the more I'll miss my family in Taiwan, here's a line that really just solidified the impact that this book left on me: The longer I stay in this country, the more words I collect. It happens naturally, as if they've been hidden in the corners of my mind this whole time, waiting for me to brush away the dust.

huge thanks to Colored Pages Book Tours, Ann Liang, and Scholastics Press for a chance to participate on this tour! be sure to check out all the amazing stops!

9:30 AM No Comments

This Monster of Mine is for all the readers who love a morally ambiguous cast of characters that actually tackle the injustices of society. A dark and bloody story (please check all the trigger warnings ahead of time) that tackles the question of what it means for justice to be delivered while adding a little sprinkle of revenge and an enemies to lovers subplot.

pages: 418 | source: own, physical/fairyloot
publication date: April 1st, 2025
tags: fantasy, adult,
rating: 6.1/10

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Sarai is a character with incredible drive and the definition of feminine rage. Four years ago, she was attacked and almost killed for reasons she can't remember and now she's back in the Southern City and assigned to work with one of the ruling Tetrachs (judge) as his Petitor (prosecutor). She's determined to find answers for her case that was dismissed and how it might be linked to all the Petitor deaths that followed. Throughout the story, she constantly proves her strength and resilience to get the bottom of things. Seeing her discover what it truly meant to fight injustice and how the moral "laws" of society will always unfortunately bend to the wills of those in power was a mixture of heart-breaking and encouraging, especially when seeing those parallels in today's society.

Pitched as a romantasy, the story does a solid job balancing out its complex fantasy world while allowing the romance to remain a prevalent component of the story. Tetrach Kadra, stated in the author's note as being inspired by Ben Barnes' Darkling, is quietly manipulative in a way that isn't malicious but allows him to remain a few steps ahead of Sarai. He allows her to come to her own conclusions - even if she sometimes jumps to anger and accusations first. I guess this could fit the hate-to-love trope as there is quite a bit of mental gymnastics on Sarai's part between "I hate him he's evil, I can't like him" and "wow he's actually human and has a heart."

Where this succeeded lay in the author's careful attention to character detail as Kadra's vicious punishments were the result of a corrupt justice system that allowed money to prevail over consequences and Sarai having to lean how to stay true to her moral compass while combatting the corruption around her. The cast of characters each had their own character motivations that supported the plot's political intrigue and the mystery behind all the Petitor deaths. I was genuinely so curious to uncover the answers with Sarai and with each reveal of political corruption, shocked to see how low some people will go.

I definitely feel like the author left so many insightful breadcrumbs scattered throughout that I missed this first time around so I'll have to go back and give this a reread sometime in the future. This does read like a standalone because the author manages to deliver a satisfying conclusion but I found out that there's supposed to be a sequel so that'll definitely be on my radar for next year. I think the world is absolutely fascinating with so much potential to be explored and I can't wait to see what the characters will do next.

9:16 AM 2 Comments

With my incredibly fast reading speed averaging two books a month (please note the sarcasm), I'm here to bring my overly ambitious May tbr for the annual Asian Readathon hosted by Read With Cindy. May is AAPI Heritage Month and every year I mentally prepare myself to participate...only to fail miserably, but it's a new year so we're trying again.

1. Read a book written by an Asian author that's a fantasy and/or best-seller
A Forgery of Fate by Elizabeth Lim
Beauty and the Beast inspired with a cursed dragon lord and girl who can paint the future
Author Representation: Chinese

2. Read a book written by an Asian author that's a retelling and/or features LGBT+ characters
Gifted and Talented by Olivie Blake
Successful businessman dies and leaves behind his mega-empire to one of his burnt out, gifted and talented child
Author Representation: Filipino

3. Read a book written by an Asian author that's emotional and/or features an older character
Meet Me At Blue Hour by Sarah Suk
Two childhood friends reconnect only to find that one of them erased their memories of the other
Author Representation: Korean

4. Read a book written by an Asian author that's international and/or underrated

5. Read a book written by an Asian author that's non-fiction and/or political
The Book Censor's Library by Buthanya Al-Eissa
A book censor finds himself becoming a reader, an incredibly dangerous and forbidden act
Author Representation: Kuwait

- extras -
The Nightblood Prince by Molly X. Chang (Chinese)
For She is Wrath by Emily Varga (Pakistani)
Eliza, from Scratch by Sophia Lee (Korean)

This is definitely one of the most ambitious tbrs I've set for myself in a while, especially since this post is going up almost halfway through the month and I have yet to complete a book (in my defense, I'm in the middle of three). If you are participating this year, please let me know what books are on your tbr and maybe, just maybe, I'll check back in at the end of the month and we'll be pleasantly surprised by my end result.

9:02 AM 2 Comments

Hi there! I originally had this planned for the very start of the year but now we're in March and it's still sitting in my drafts.... I was inspired to come up with this list after seeing Caz from Little Book Owl post a video titled 30 Books That Changed My Life and it got me thinking about some books that have stayed with me long after I finished reading them. Since my birthday was in January and Google now classifies my age as "late 20s," I figured it'd be interesting to see what titles helped to shape the first half of my 20s.

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the astonishing color of after by emily x.r. pan
I remember picking this up solely because the synopsis mentioned Taiwan and I hadn't read anything before that centered around Taiwanese culture. The story itself centers around grief and learning about the different layers of one's cultural identity which opened up a new understanding of my own Asian American heritage. I loved recognizing familiar places and foods as Leigh discovers Taiwan for the first time and just remembered finishing this book with a newfound love and nostalgia for my parents' homeland.

light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki
I constantly claim that this book made me fall back in love with classical music and years later, I still stand by that statement. Ryka Aoki manages to encompass themes of musical healing, queer identity, and hope into this beautifully written story and I remember finishing this and just needing to sit in silence to feel all the emotions it gave me. I adore the cast of characters with my whole heart and truly have a better love for classical music that I didn't have during my entire undergrad experience as a music major.
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babel by r.f. kuang
R.F. Kuang truly rewired my brain chemistry with Babel in a way that I wasn't expecting. The world and its magic is so incredibly complex and intriguing to the point where it sometimes reads like a textbook but in the best way possible. I loved even getting just a glimpse of R.F. Kuang's mind and her understanding of the nuances of language - not to mention that the characters and their experiences at the prestigious Oxford University highlighted the inequalities and additional pressures that minority students faced in academia.

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the poppy war by r.f. kuang
I had to put The Poppy War trilogy as well because it truly opened my eyes to the horrors of a history I hadn't learned about in school. In my history classes, we probably had a paragraph or two dedicated to anything not Eurocentric and reading about the events that inspired certain scenes absolutely broke me. The main character's arc as well was so intriguing to follow and really highlighted the heavy expectations of war alongside the degrading racial superiority as an effect of white imperialism.
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the winternight trilogy by katherine arden
If you ever dive into my blog archives and look at any recommendations list, you're bound to find some mention of The Winternight Trilogy. Picking up The Bear and the Nightingale from my local library was a completely random decision during my freshmen year winter break and one of the best decisions because it introduced me to the world of Russian folklore.
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the bone witch trilogy by rin chupeco
Another trilogy that I pretty much made my entire personality throughout college that I picked up on a whim at the library. Following Tea who finds out that she's a bone witch when accidentally resurrecting her brother, the trilogy is told through a dual-POV of past and present. I fell in love with the characters and their relationships with each other and remember really getting to connect with other readers over this trilogy which is what made it all the more memorable.
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piranesi by susanna clarke
Piranesi is a book that just feels comforting to me - something about reading the main character's explorations through his journal entries feels so nostalgic. The writing style is the perfect blend of intriguing and whimsical that just kept me hooked from start to finish even if the first part just documented Piranesi roaming the halls. As the plot itself unfolds, the slower pace of everything just felt oddly comforting and left me feeling a sense of wonder.
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daughter of the moon goddess by sue lynn tan
Growing up, there was this Taiwanese puppet drama that I vividly remember watching with my cousins when visiting them over the summer. It's also a huge part of why I even understand the dialect and I remember being absolutely engrossed with the storyline. There were complex political schemes, a heartbreaking love story, and action scenes that left my jaw hanging. Daughter of the Moon Goddess captured all of that in book-form and I absolutely loved it. Reading this felt like awakening a part of my childhood and following Xingyin on her epic journey was so much fun.
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picture us in the light by kelly loy gilbert
I saved this one for last because of just hoe much this story broke me. Following a Chinese American high schooler who has to find the balance between his own passions and the expectations of his immigrant parents hit a lot closer than I anticipated. I remember just wanting to cry so many times while reading this because I felt so represented and quickly went on to read all of the author's books Kelly Loy Gilbert just captures the Asian American experience so well and it felt like each of her main characters held a piece of me that I didn't expect to see in a story - it felt like they were holding up a mirror to my heart.

And there you have it - only a few months late but nevertheless reminiscing about these books made me realize how much they've impacted my early 20s. Please let me know if you've read any of these titles and/or share a book that has changed your life or perspective for the better!

9:56 AM No Comments

Happy ~~February~~ March! The first month of 2025 has felt like it passed in a blur while simultaneously being the longest month to ever exist and all I'm desperately trying to do is stay afloat amidst all the chaos. I was originally planning to post this last month, but as always the February slump took me out and we're now onto month #3... On the bright side, I managed to read three incredible books to start the year that in retrospect, pretty much summarizes my entire reading taste: macabre fairytales, epic Asian-inspired fantasies, and magical worlds filled with nostalgia.

pages: 336 | source: own, e-book
publication date: October 29th, 2024
tags: young adult, gothic, horror, lgbtqia+
rating: 8.6/10

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I might be incredibly late to this realization but I just figured out that C.G. Drews is the same person as PaperFury which was a book blogger I followed back in high school. With that lightbulb moment, I was genuinely so excited to read Don't Let the Forest In because a story about tragic love, monstrous forests, and macabre stories coming to life sounds like the perfect combination to a top tier read - and let me just say, it absolutely did not disappoint.

The story opens following Andrew as he returns to Wickwood Academy for his senior year. Already anxious about what's to come, he finds his tight-knit community falling apart when his twin sister Dove and best friend Thomas seem to be at odds with each other. Worse, Thomas is acting completely different and disappearing into the woods at night only to appear in the morning covered in leaves and blood. After trying to figure out what is going on, Thomas finally reveals that the monsters of his drawings, inspired by Andrew's stories, are coming to life and coming for everything that he holds dear and this time they have their sights set on Andrew.

This book has the most gorgeously haunting writing and the atmosphere was just top tier stunning. I started reading this and legit could not stop myself from turning the page because I just had to know what was going to happen. There are also these beautifully grotesque drawings of Thomas' creatures that just add the extra touch of eerie. I loved Andrew and Thomas' relationship with each other as they each navigate their feelings in the midst of so much bloodshed. This book truly just planted its twisted roots deep into my heart and is staying there forever because I would honestly protect Thomas and Andrew with my entire life, they are so precious.

favorite line: I like how you are. There's an entire world of ink and magic stuffed into your head and, and I think it's beautiful. I just wish everything didn't hurt you so much.

pages: 465 | source: own, physical
publication date: January 07, 2025
tags: adult, romance, fantasy, asian
rating: 8.2/10

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When I tell you it's been a minute since a romance has left me absolutely breathless, Immortal quite possibly delivered everything I wanted it to be. Set in the same world as Sue Lynn Tan's Celestial Kingdoms duology, we follow Liyen as she ascends the throne after her grandfather's death and her journey to free her people from the centuries-old agreement with the immortals that puts Tianxia under the Golden Desert's control. What started as a trip tino the Immortal Realm to pledge her loyalty turns into a bigger political conflict when forgotten enemy forces start slipping through the cracks of their prison and secrets begin to unravel.

Immortal has everything I loved in Sue Lynn Tan's debut duology minus the love triangle which made it instantly better because that was hands down my least favorite part. It has also been such a long time since I've fallen in love with a fictional couple and rooted so hard for the male love interested. As the General of War, Zhangwei has sass and depth that made me instantly root for him. He also pulls out the "touch her and you'll die" line and actually backed it up with action. Seriously, the lines that he says to Liyen made me actually want to cry (case in point the quote below).

Characters aside, Sue Lynn Tan continues to write a vast and complex story whose plot feels like an entire C-drama. We get to explore more of the Immortal Realms as well as delve into the history of Tianxia's existence and purpose. There are so many twists that reveal how sometimes there is truth behind both sides of the story and a hero can be a villain (and vice versa) depending on who is telling the tale. Incredibly rich and beautiful in both plot and writing, Immortal truly ticked all the boxes for becoming an instant favorite and I'm so glad I loved it.

favorite line: Dawn would be dark without you. You make life more interesting.

pages: 372 | source: own, physical
publication date: January 14th, 2025
tags: adult, fantasy, fabulism, romance, asian, cozy
rating: 8.2/10

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If I'm to be completely honest, I've seen a lot of mixed reviews about this book and I 100% get the points presented. However, I am simply just obsessed with this book soley based on how it made me feel and how long I've been thinking about this book since finishing it. With a premise surrounding a pawn shop that allows you to sell your regrets, the story adopts a very Ghibli-esque way of unfolding its events. I feel like going into the story with the same child-like sense of wonder that I had when approaching a lot of Ghibli films as a child allowed me to not become as affected by some of the common pitfalls that other readers experienced.

That's an incredibly long way of saying that this story truly takes your on a journey and explores so many different places of a fantastical world entered by jumping through puddles that the pawn shop is only a focus for maybe the first 20-30 pages. It does feel like the author is trying to set up this complex and beautiful world and trying to evoke the feeling one would get when seeing the world from Spirited Away for the first time. There's a lot going on, some things are presented and never brought back, and it can feel incredibly overwhelming. At the same time, there are these two characters who just met and the instant connection is a little too...instant.

All the aside, something about the world itself just drew me in. From the village that worked to hang up the night sky to the practice of tattooing one's life story with magical ink, there was so much that I found simply fascinating and nostalgic. And while the characters themselves weren't my absolute favorite, I still enjoyed being part of their journey. The biggest hit was the climax of the story itself when all the secrets are revealed - it felt like I couldn't catch my breath and I was running alongside Hana and Keishin and my anxiety was through the roof.

Water Moon ultimately is a story whose entire vibe struck a chord of nostalgia within me and for that I was able to overlook some elements that normally would have stuck out to me. I do think it'll be a gamble for anyone going into the story but if you're in the mood to simply be swept away and not worry too much about the characters and just enjoy the world, this might be an unexpected surprise.

favorite line: And you are an ocean Hana...I drowned in you a long time ago and I did not even know it.

I absolutely was not anticipated this post to take me months to get through but I'm glad it's finally finished. I have been in a pretty bad reading slump since January but getting to think back and try to articulate my thoughts for these three reads is slowly reigniting that desire to read again. Here's to hoping that March and the rest of 2025 is a bit more consistent because lord knows we need a little bit of escapism recently with all the insanity that is happening in society.

Have you read any stand-out books yet in 2025 or read any of the titles mentioned here? Please let me know your thoughts!