"Peace doesn't mean all the bad disappears. It just means finding a way to live with it. Peace is keeping the darkness at bay long enough to get through the day."

a rebellion in the afterlife

Nami was ready to experience all the excitement that comes with graduating high school when she's murdered and wakes up in Infinity. Instead of heaven and hell, the afterlife is controlled by Ophelia, the virtual assistant everyone used on Earth, who has taken over and crowned herself Queen. Humans are given a pill to live their consciousness out in blissful servitude to Ophelia and her Residents and when Nami refuses the pill, she is rescued by the rebel human Colony and joins their ranks to take back Infinity for the humans.

The Infinity Courts is a story that was fast-paced but not at the same time. The first half focuses a lot of Nami's training sequences and her internal conflict between helping the Colony's cause and wanting to believe that the Residents aren't just mindless evil villains. The conversation between right vs. wrong, of who gets to live or die, can be a bit heavy-handed at times with a lot of direct telling passages rather than letting the reader draw their own conclusions. Personally, this didn't bother me that much, but it's worth pointing out as this becomes the main source of how information is typically delivered.

who deserves to live infinitely

The component that stands out out the most is honestly Akemi Dawn Bowman's writing. Her style has quickly become one of my favorites and she once again crafts a story and a cast of characters that just feel so vivid and real. Nami's battle feels justified even if she acts irrationally at times. Her refusal to stop hoping that there could be a better solution leads her to make decisions with her heart and that quickly puts her at odds with the rest of the Colony. For a story that centers around the afterlife, Nami's character embodies what makes humanity unique and how even after death, our consciousness gives us the ability to create. 

For a book that's almost 500 pages, it didn't read that long. While the story isn't intensely action-packed, there's this feeling of high-stakes that keeps the story going. I'm so excited that this is the first in a trilogy and with how the The Infinity Courts wrapped up, I'm literally dying to see how the rest of the story unfolds.

thank you to Turn the Pages Tour for allowing me to participate on this tour! check out the rest of the amazing stops by clicking the banner!

G I V E A W A Y

Up for grabs, there are TWO (2) finished copies of The Infinity Courts by Akemi Dawn Bowman open to US residents only. The giveaway will be running from April 4th to April 12th ending at 12 AM CST. To enter, click the link above!

a b o u t    t h e    a u t h o r
Akemi Dawn Bowman is a critically acclaimed author who writes across genres. Her novels have received multiple accolades and award nominations, and her debut novel, STARFISH, was a William C. Morris Award Finalist. She has a BA in social sciences from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and currently lives in Scotland with her husband and two children. She overthinks everything, including this bio. You can find Akemi on Instagram @AkemiDawnBowman.

"We were musician; we were intimate with silence."

    isbn: 978-1534468214 | pages: 368
    publication date: March 09, 2021 | source: netgalley/e-arc
genre: ya contemporary
trigger warnings: racism, abuse, suicide, mental health, micro-aggressions 

    A M A Z O N *    |    G O O D R E A D S    |    B O O K S H O P *
B O O K D E P O S I T O R Y    |    B A R N E S A N D N O B L E S    |    I N D I E B O U N D

a heart so broken and full
When We Were Infinite is beautiful, powerful, and so freaking painful to read. Beth Claire's life centers around her friends, Brandon, Sunny, Grace, and Jason. With their senior year comes their final Homecoming, college applications, and the inevitable change that comes with the next page of life. Before the toils of college acceptances and rejections, Beth's relationship with her friends is altered after private matters in Jason's home come to light. This book has truly left me feeling hollow in a way I haven't felt in a long time. Being in Beth's head for the entire story is exhausting but at the same time I have never experienced a fictional character's thought mirror my own so accurately. 

Beth's emotions are like bullets that just ricochet all over the place and it takes her a while to find out where they come from. That creates an incredibly turbulent reading experience and I cannot even tell you how many times I wanted to shake Beth out of her thoughts. The ironic thing, is that many of Beth's thoughts are ones that have come across my mind as well. The desperation of wanting to keep everyone happy and doing everything to mediate tense situations, I couldn't hate Beth without hating myself. Seeing Beth's journey throughout the story is like watching the sun come out from behind the clouds and finally shining brighter after being stuck inside a storm. As she reconciles her fear and her anger with herself, she is able to rebuild her relationship with her friends and most importantly, her mother and finally find the comfort she's been craving.

rebuild
Despite its difficult topics, When We Were Infinite also made me reminisce and miss my friends so much. The relationship that Beth, Sunny, Grace, Brandon, and Jason have with each other is so uplifting no matter how up/down things get. I loved how Kelly Loy Gilbert didn't forget to include the reason why we as people create relationships and friendships in the first place - the comfort of companionship, of feeling seen, of knowing that someone will always be there - that makes the dark times bearable in the end. 

As the characters embark on their college chapter, the story shifts its delivery format to more of a vignette style and highlights the group experiencing life away from each other. It felt kind of jarring at first because I was suddenly taken out of being very interconnected with everything to seeing events unfold from more of a distance but I appreciated being able to watch them, especially Beth, grow out of their comfort zones and mature in their outlooks on life. When We Were Infinite is a story that highlights the messy and the good when it comes to friendship, the fears of growing up, and learning to understand the space that we take up in the greater world community. 

*Links with an asterisk are affiliate links where when used, will give me a small commission at no additional costs to the buyer (as of 2/21/21)

In honor of their time together as a group, I thought that I could compile a list of my of IZ*ONE tracks and comp them to books based either on title, vibe, lyrics, etc. 

la vie en rose 
strange the dreamer by laini taylor
This is honestly one of my favorite debut songs ever, it's just so catchy and the members embodied the elegant concept so well. The most iconic line of course is "this is my la vie en rose" so I wanted to pick a song with a really elegant and beautiful writing style. One of the first titles to pop into my head was Strange the Dreamer. While I definitely struggled getting through this book, Laini Taylor has one of the most beautiful writing styles out there and that makes her stories so enchanting even if I wasn't 100% on board with the characters or plot.

violeta 
gods of jade and shadow by silvia moreno-garcia
The lyrics translate to wanting to be with someone who might be a bit mysterious or reserved. A pretty catchy song that holds a lot of yearning. One of my favorite slow romances that killed me with the yearning between two characters is hands down Gods of Jade and Shadow. A girl and the overthrown god of death have a very little possibility for a future but damn did their little moments hit me right in the heart.

panorama
the song of achilles by madeline miller
This song is a testament to IZ*ONE absolutely slaying and getting better with each comeback. Probably my favorite title track, Panorama is all about capturing the memories of unfinished stories to remember them forever. The Song of Achilles is one there I just want the characters to be happy and innocent forever and unfortunately with the source material propelling them towards a tragic ending, I would want nothing more than to capture those bright moments for Achilles and Patroclus forever.

          

ayayaya
beyond the ruby veil by mara fitzgerald
Probably hands down my favorite IZ*ONE track and one that I could not stop playing all of last year. The lyrics themselves speak about reinventing oneself and owning one's natural allure so I thought I'd pair this with a character who just completely captivated my attention while reading. Emanuela is anything but elegant and veers more towards blood-thirsting and ruthless in her ambition. In all cases, she'd probably be the last character to associate with this concept, but her magnetism is undeniable. She just has a pull that just makes the reader incredibly invested even if she's not the most likable person.

o sole mio
the house in the cerulean sea by t.j. klune
Direct translation for this phrase is "oh my sun" so I had to pick a book that I adore and that reminds me of the brightest sunny day. The House in the Cerulean Sea makes me smile every time I think of the lovable characters and after picking up a physical copy for my shelves, I've definitely reread certain scenes that will immediately lift my mood and give me all the warm happy feelings.

really like you
night of cake and puppets by laini taylor
I wanted to choose my favorite bookish couple and without fail Zuzana and Mik end up on the list even if I already featured Laini Taylor. While I'd probably classify their relationship as more high energy than this melodic ballad, I can definitely see Zuzana listening to this song in the middle of the night, post-date, where she's just filled with all the butterflies and feelings. 

          

This post includes just a couple of my favorite IZ*ONE tracks, I might do a part two of this in the future because I had such a hard time cutting down which songs I wanted to include. If you've listened to any of these songs and/or read the comp'd titles, do you think they match together or do you have any pairing? 

Hello everyone! I'm bringing back the mini-batch reviews since I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed with writing longer ones but still want to share my thoughts on some of the books I've been reading. I would love to turn this into a little series as well and am struggling to decide on a name so if you have any suggestions I'd love to know! My current ones that I'm debating are between snapshots and/or mini letters (to go with my "letter" (?) theme of the blog. 

B O O K S H O P*    |    G O O D R E A D S    |    A M A Z O N*

The Gilded Ones is the first in a debut YA fantasy trilogy that follows Deka in a world where girls must prove their purity by bleeding red or die. After being ostracized her entire life because her father married someone outside the village, Deka's has been waiting for her ceremony to finally be accepted by her community. However, when she ends up bleeding gold, instead of facing judgment and death, Deka is given a second chance and offered a place at the emperor's new army against the alaki monsters. This book was so immersive with the folklore and religion playing huge roles in the story. As Deka's primary motivation for the majority of the story is searching for her second chance and purity, we get to delve into an interesting conversation between how a patricarchal society uses religion to oppress its women. 

Deka did suffer a bit from the "special snowflake" treatment and is really the only character with a complex arc and tangible development throughout the story whereas the supporting characters just serve to spotlight her. Despite this imbalance, her main group of friends still were fleshed out enough that made them distinct in my mind and definitely leaves room for their stories to grow with the future books. I will say, the romantic sub-plot would have to be the least developed but it's not such a big hindrance to this first installment. For a debut, The Gilded Ones definitely sets up a fascinating world and an even more exciting journey ahead full of questions to answer.

ultimate verdict: sisterhood to death and beyond

pages: 400 | source: netgalley e-arc
publication date: March 02, 2021
genre: YA fantasy, gothic
content warning: small depiction of blood/gore

B O O K S H O P*    |    G O O D R E A D S    |    A M A Z O N*

Down Comes the Night is a gothic fantasy that is aptly dedicated to "the girls who feel too much." Wren is the illegitimate daughter of the queen's sister and a skilled healer who finds herself on probation after choosing to heal an enemy soldier against orders. To avoid being reassigned, she takes the offer of a reclusive lord from the neighboring neutral country to heal his sick servant in hopes that she'll secure an alliance and win back favor. Everything about this book is addicting and atmospheric and brings back my fears of creaky old mansions. I honestly cannot pinpoint exactly what made this book so addicting but I genuinely became so invested with the characters and the plot that I could not stop reading.

Wren definitely had to grow on me because of how she allowed her emotions to control her actions so recklessly at first. Her relationships with Una and Isabel is rocky to say the least and leaving them behind seems incredibly irrational but I love how Allison Saft really took her emotions and taught her (and the reader as a result) how to use them to make her stronger. As she learns more about the other side through Hal and begins to question how wars are meant to solve the problem, her character development honestly blooms so beautifully. Speaking of Hal, I don't have much to comment on him per say but I absolutely adored seeing his relationship with Wren unfold, it's really one of those stories where the romantic subplot just works so well in highlighting the main character's arc without overpowering the storyline.

This is definitely a story that just evokes so much reading happiness because of the experience and makes me kind of sad that it's just a standalone. However, the story truly takes advantage of being a standalone to explore how religion and war are tied together and also throw in a soft romance that leaves all the room for yearning. 

ultimate verdict: impending wars blur the lines between black and white

B O O K S H O P *   |    G O O D R E A D S    |    A M A Z O N *

Yolk is a story of family and how sometimes life makes things so messy you might struggle to keep yourself afloat. Jayne Baek wants to find herself and joining the masses at New York City gives her the anonymity she seeks to make a new identity. But being an artist in the city and establishing her own presence can be tough when there are just so many people and so many different definitions of success. When she finds out that her older sister June has cancer, she's forced to reconnect with a sibling that she's tried to distance herself from and learn how to be a family again. Reading this book was like experiencing whiplash because Jayne and June have one of the most tumultuous relationships I have ever read about. As an older sister, I was either experiencing major secondhand cringe or relating immensely to June since the story is told through Jayne's perspective. 

 I have honestly never experienced anything that Jayne and June go through but I still saw snippets of my life in the way they interacted with each other and the world. The rawness of the story also captures the complex conversation that I think many first-generation Asian Americans have with their immigrant family's experience. Jayne also struggles with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia throughout the novel and that's just another difficult topic this story tackles. Yolk delves so deeply into the inner workings of relationships that it gets super raw and sometimes uncomfortable, but it's the humanity of the characters that makes it relatable and 100% worth reading.

ultimate verdict: family is family no matter how messy

A huge thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for allowing me to read and review these books. As a note, receiving these books do not affect my opinion in any way, all thoughts are 100% my own.

If you've read any of these books, please let me know your thoughts! Down Comes the Night and Yolk both release on March 2nd so be sure to check them out once they hit shelves!

Sadness is part of our inspiration. Others might bottle up their sadness and pour it out on certain occasions, but we let it pour from us and into our medium. It's the same for most emotions, and we do it so that we can make room for more.

a story of family and relationships

A Phở Love Story is a debut young adult novel from Loan Le that follows two Vietnamese-American teenagers as they navigate friendship, family, and finding their passions. Coming from families of two competing pho restaurants, Linh and Bao have only seen each other in passing, but after an instance of kindness and an assignment for the school newspaper, they start spending more time and seeing new aspects of each other. The relationships in this book are what make it such an endearing and memorable story. 

Reading about their families made me take a step back and just appreciate all that my parents have done for me and the support I've received in my career choices even if there have been some arguments along the way. Family is also addressed connects itself to the romantic relationship. I really appreciated how Bao and Linh's relationship gradually developed - there was an initial spark of interest but we got to see their feeling grow for each other which brought on all the cutesy feels.

proudly asian american

 This story represents a sense of familiarity and representation that makes me crave more stories that are unapologetically embracing the Asian American voice. As someone who is not Vietnamese, but grew up in a big cultural city on the East Coast, so many elements of this novel reflect life moments I've experienced from parental communication struggles to the comfort of sharing food with a loud (and gossipy) extended family. I was rolling my eyes at the auntie circles and relating so much to Linh's sister Evie's experience as the older sibling. 

Despite Linh and her family having different visions and definitions of success, they never lost their line of communication with each other and that really touched me. A lot of times as a child of immigrants, it's hard to reconcile our parents' ideals of the American Dream with our own passions, and reading Linh's perspective just really resonated with my own thoughts and experiences. I honestly loved both sets of parents and learning about their stories made me more eager to take the time to listen to the stories of my own parents.

A Phở Love Story read like a snapshot from my own life and just further exemplifies the importance of writing and sharing these stories from all different backgrounds and cultures. I know for a fact that this story is an example of something I sought for as a teenager and I'm so glad that it's officially out for current and future generations of Asian Americans to read and feel seen.

about the author

Loan Le is the youngest child of two Vietnamese immigrants hailing from Nha Trang. She holds an MFA degree in fiction from Fairfield University, also her undergraduate alma mater. A Pushcart Prize - nominated writer, her short stories have appeared in CRAFT Literary, Mud Season Review, and Angel City Review. Loan is an editor at Simon and Schuster's Atria Books imprint and lives in Manhattan. A Pho Love Story is her first novel. 

W E B S I T E    |    G O O D R E A D S    |    T W I T T E R

I N S T A G R A M    |    T I K T O K

moodboard

Images taken from Unsplash

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Be sure to check out the other stops of the #APhoLoveStoryTour and a huge thank you to Colored Pages, Loan Le, and Simon Teen for allowing me to read and share my thoughts!

Tour Schedule

Hello everyone! In honor of Lunar New Year coming up on February 12th, I wanted to share some book recommendations based off of the Chinese zodiac. I'm honestly so excited for LNY because it's my first time in four years getting to celebrate with my family after being away at college and I'm ready for all the yummy food (and red envelopes of course). This is also the first year where, since I'm working full time, I can give out red envelopes which just makes me feel like I've unlocked some special level of adulthood.

I tried to choose books where the characters displayed certain traits of each zodiac animal and referenced this website if you're interested in finding out and learning more about your own zodiac!

TIGER (虎) - natural leadership, independent, can be impatient, faithful

the wolf of oren-yaro by k.s. villoso

Queen Talyien is the definition of someone who is dedicated to her country, her legacy, and her family. The first two books follow her essentially trying to do what she believes is best for Jin-Sayeng and while some of her decisions may be questionable, she is still such a powerhouse as a queen in adult fantasy.

      

RABBIT (兔)- smart moderator, loyal, strong sense of responsibility

counting down by with by tashie bhuiyan

I haven't read this yet, but I do have an ARC and plan on getting to it this month. However, just by reading the synopsis, Karina sounds like someone who is extremely dedicated to her family and I think the events that unfold within the story will reveal more of her personality and strengthen her loyalty to those she loves.

DRAGON (龍) - ambitious dreamers, can be unapproachable

these violent delights by chloe gong

Ambition + Dreams = Juliette Cai and Roma Montagov. I'm half-way through this book and am already bursting with emotions for these characters. They are just crafted in a way that offers so much conversation about the balance between tradition and change. The unapproachable part is mostly tacked on because I would be so in awe of Juliette that I could never approach her in real life.

SNAKE (蛇) - idealists, eloquent and social, life of luxury

anna k by jenny lee

Anna K is YA luxury in a book. There are decadent parties, overindulging in the vices, and of course, all the scandals. The characters come from lives of extreme wealth and I think have a bit of idealist in them - they're also trained to be incredibly aware of societal trends/gossip which is very snake-like  in my opinion.

      

HORSE (馬) - sociable, self-expressive, independent

i'll be the one by lyla lee

Skye is vibrant, talented, and truly an icon. I could not stop smiling when reading I'll Be the One and I think her personality goes really well with that of the HORSE. She learns to love herself and her passions even more through the story and takes on the incredibly toxic K-pop industry with so much body positivity and genuine nature.

SHEEP (羊) - hard-working, well-dressed, sympathetic

spin the dawn by elizabeth lim

Well-dressed = Maia and that's the truth, though to expand, she is also hard-working personified. To save her family's business, she dresses as her brother and enters a competition to become the emperor's tailor only to go on a life-altering journey to make three mythical dresses. 

MONKEY (猴) - intelligent, curious, love for adventure

warcross by marie lu

I would say that Emiko corresponds pretty well to the MONKEY because very few people can hack into the world's most elite virtual tournament. Her skills combined with Hideo's unrefusable offer takes her on an adventure uncovering more secrets about Warcross and its founder.

      

ROOSTER (雞) - warm personality, sociable

to all the boys i've loved before by jenny han

I could not not put this book somewhere on the list so ROOSTER it is. Admittedly, I've only read the first book because I ~struggle~ to read YA contemporaries, but I already know that Lara Jean has the warmest personality ever. Only someone like a ROOSTER would write love letters to forget their crushes and maybe I'm projecting based on the movie but Lana Condor also just feels very sociable to me.

DOG (狗) - helpful, cautious, introverted but sincere

starfish by akemi dawn bowman

Kiko is an incredibly talented artist and her sincerity shines through with her art. Her journey to accepting her talents and finding her worth outside of her toxic mother is one of the most beautiful coming of age stories I've ever read.

PIG (豬) - clever, out-going, warm-hearted

the gilded wolves by roshani chokshi

Doesn't "clever, out-going, and warm-hearted" not remind you of basically the entire gang in The Gilded Wolves? Each member takes their strengths and passions and together they work to restore and reclaim Severin's heritage (amongst other things). This is also a little shameful call out that I have not yet finished The Silvered Serpents because I'm too scared to watch one of my favorite groups unravel  😭.

      

I tried to specifically include authors of Asian descent, but I'm sure I've missed a bunch of really good comps! 

What is your Chinese Zodiac and which bookish character would you pair with your animal?